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“My lifelong relationship with Stony Brook goes back to the early 1970’s when ground-breaking news hit our household that The Stony Brook Boys School would soon be admitting girls. Thanks to Headmaster (and my future father-in-law) Donn Gaebelein’s open-mindedness and revolutionary vision for gender equality, I was able to enroll in the School that only my older brother was permitted to attend.

From my sophomore year at The Brook to the present, I have worn many hats: one of the earliest girls to attend Stony Brook, alumna, Headmaster’s wife, staff member, parent of two day students, and now, parent of my son, a boarding student. Our supportive and earnest belief in the School’s mission has held a deep desire for my husband and I to have our children attend The Stony Brook School. The past thirty years of my close relationship with Stony Brook culminates with my son’s graduation this year. His last two years as a boarder have been a fulfilling experience.

My husband and I have seen our child enter manhood with confidence by embracing the structure of boarding life, competing on the athletic fields, and establishing an irreplaceable brotherhood with his fellow dorm mates and teammates. The mentoring and Christian witnesses of his teachers and coaches, some of whom are also his dorm heads, have been life changing. Although at first it was difficult to ‛let him go,’ we could not have asked for a better situation for our son. When he graduates this spring I will tip my many hats in deep gratitude to The Stony Brook School, in exchange for the venerable hat of ‛past parent’.”

- Alumnae class of ’75, Parent ’99, ’01, ’05
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“As a parent of an SBS alumnus (now a sophomore at college) and a current SBS senior, my perspective of the School has been forming over the last six years. In truth, it has been even longer; both boys participated in SBS Summer Programs as campers and then as employees, and I’ve been a counselor there for 12 years.

The diversity of the SBS student body has equipped our sons to work with and appreciate students, from other races and cultures. The annual International Festival and the International Student Partnership (ISP) program, in which our younger son participated, have fostered a degree of world-awareness that could have only been achieved through daily interaction with students from around the globe.

Teachers who saw the potential of our children and helped them to attain it, have made all the difference; our oldest son was especially inspired by one of SBS' English teachers. At SBS he encountered an environment that allowed his confidence to develop and that made his transition to college life remarkably easy. Our youngest son, who came to Stony Brook largely because our older son had, soon learned that SBS pushed him to be his best, whether in the classroom or on the soccer pitch.

Educating the heart as well as the mind is what sets SBS apart. The school has given our sons a frame of reference around which they can build their lives, a Christian worldview that has been tested and proven. Developing character, we’ve realized, is truly more important than the college they attend, for it is their character that will carry them through life’s trials and tribulations.

When I asked a recent graduate if she was sad about leaving SBS, she remarked, ‘But you never really leave Stony Brook.’ How profoundly insightful! Our sons will have lifelong friends, a place to which they can always come back (as our older son has frequently), and a confidence and security that can never be taken away from them.”

- Parent ’03, ’05
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"When I first heard about The Stony Brook School, I knew this was the place I wanted my two children to be. The first time I drove up Chapman Parkway, parked my car along the tree-lined road and gazed around the campus, I knew I was somewhere special.

I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, when she opened the door of her house and realized she was not in Kansas anymore. She was somewhere colorful and promising. I still remember a beautiful, sunny afternoon, during my son's first year, when I pulled up to school at the end of the day. As I walked toward the steps of Memorial, he said, ‘Mom, do you love this place?’ I replied, ‘Yes, why do you ask?’ He said, ‘Because every time you come here to pick me up, you have a big, goofy smile on your face!’ It was probably the same smile I got to see on his face every day - the smile that told me he was in the right place.

This September, my daughter has entered Stony Brook. She has adjusted quickly to her new surroundings and feels right at home. Each of my children's experiences affirms to me that I have made the right decision to send them to The Stony Brook School, to be here during these important and formative years of their lives. This is not just a school, but also a place where children are nurtured and challenged to become tomorrow's leaders. My teenagers have found a place to feel safe and to be themselves, and they both fit into the School community in their own special way. I offer this as a glimpse into this very special place. I am so happy my children can be a part of it.”

- Parent ’08, ’09
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"As the Senior class parent for the past six years, I've had the incredible honor of watching our children grow into wonderful young adults. Over the years, during class functions and activities, I've observed in amazement how our children interact with their peers and with adults, always with kindness, integrity, intelligence, and confidence. I realized that a person of this caliber is not born, but molded by their surroundings and those who love them. Whether in the classroom, dorm, Chapel, at home, or even on a sports field, I feel so fortunate to have had my sons grow up in an environment that allowed them to become the best possible people they could be.

The impact that playing sports and being a part of a team has had on my son, over the past six years, is immeasurable. His coaches and teammates have taught him more than just how to play the game. He is the young man he is today because of their example and camaraderie; for that I will be eternally grateful. I want to thank you, parents, for letting me get to know your children over the years and for letting me work with them, whether it was at a football game or at a bake sale. It has truly been my pleasure. And to you, Seniors, I wish you the best of everything that this world has to offer. I will miss you, but now have confidence in our future, because you will all be a part of it!"

- Parent ’02, ’04, ’08
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“One word comes to mind when I think about The Stony Brook School; that word is ‘community.’ SBS has what I would call an ‘immediate community’ and an ‘extended community.’ Three of my children are actively involved within the immediate community. One son loves being the Prefect of his residence hall, another enjoys his role as a member of his dorm council, and my daughter, who just started two months ago, is finding her niche. In the camaraderie that is so much a part of the caring, immediate community of The Stony Brook School, my children can be themselves without fear of ridicule or embarrassment.

As an alumnus, I, too, found that to be so, while I was attending Stony Brook. No one made fun of how I looked or dressed. But there’s more. As an alumnus, I found that the sense of belonging does not end with Commencement; rather, it continues. As an alumnus, I am now part of SBS’ extended community – a worldwide body of “Brookers.” This is not meant to conjure up any elitist feelings. On the contrary, it is a feeling of gratitude that I wish to convey – gratitude for the opportunity to be a part of something very special – The Stony Brook School.”

- Alumni class of ’73, Parent ’05, ’06, ’07
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“It is amazing how different our lives have been since that day in 1999, when one of our four sons told us that he wanted to look into The Stony Brook School. Initially, we were attracted to its excellent academic reputation – and it has been that and more! Never did we guess that enrolling our sons in SBS would be the best parenting decision we could make.

Now that our youngest is entering his last semester at SBS, we are reflecting on the many blessings that the School has provided our family. As we write this, the older three arrive from college, so excited to be home to see each other and immediately begin planning to see their SBS friends, the ones they graduated with and the ones who taught them.

Their experiences of travel to other cultures, the camaraderie of being on a team, their extensive knowledge of gardening from working detentions, their debating skills, all were expanded by their time at SBS. Their poise and self-confidence were nurtured by the challenges and support of their teachers.

To individually thank everyone who has touched our children's lives would require several entire issues [Parents Plus Monthly], so we simply say to all, ‛Thank you. Thank you for being mentors, thank you for the concern you've shown our sons in the difficult times, thank you for the way you have challenged them to grow, and most importantly, thank you for loving them.’ When you see the tears in our eyes at graduation this year, know that some will be for our pride in our son, but a big part will also be our gratitude, for all who have helped us raise our sons. Our only consolation is the younger cousins, who will enable us to stay connected to the SBS community.”

- Parents ’01, ’03, ’04, ’05
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“Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the assistance given to my son. The Stony Brook School has been a wonderful influence on him, for which I am very grateful. Always an above-average student in public school, I was worried that he was not being challenged to be his best. I no longer have this worry. His teachers at The Stony Brook School all remark on how our son is a positive addition to their classrooms. And the changes in our teen have been enormous. Now I truly understand what the school motto “Character before Career” means. Many people who have known him over the years have remarked on what an outstanding, young gentleman our son has become; The Stony Brook School has played a large part in that.

As a working, single mother, your assistance has been immeasurable. In the world we live in, there are so many external influences that affect our children. Having our son attend The Stony Brook School was the best thing I could have done…”

- Parent ’07
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“We are very pleased with our son's progress this past semester. Each one of you has played an integral part in his progress. Although his transition into The Stony Brook environment was not an easy one at first, we believe he has begun to thrive in this learning community. His father and I truly appreciate the amount of dedication, caring, and love that each of you has extended to him. He expresses his excitement about learning and enjoys being challenged.

The Stony Brook team deserves a tremendous amount of credit for the outstanding job they accomplish with our children. We see our teenager continue to grow into a fine young man with a sense of morality, values, and judgement. We thank you for your part in this enrichment…”

- Parents ’08
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“I was recently given a wonderful opportunity to accompany my sons on the Spring Break trip to Italy. Since I had never traveled outside the United States, I was very excited for my boys, as well as myself. I had never even left New York State until I was in my twenties, and here they were going to Europe at 14 and 16 years of age. What a fantastic gift! Italy was incredible! I was awestruck at the history, the beauty, and the culture. We traveled with a great group of students and faculty, whose company I thoroughly enjoyed. I don’t believe I will ever forget the chills that went down my spine, as one of our students recited his Latin declamation among the ruins near Caesar’s tomb! Bravissimo!…”

- Parent ’06, ’07
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